Time To Reinvent My Self

The thing is it is time to reinvent my self, to find out who I really am, besides being mom!
Lets see, for fifty two years that I have been here on this earth, thirty two year of that I have been a mom! So need I say, what it is I do best! But I guess that would depend on who's perception! That one was mine! I feel as though I did a pretty good job; raising my children! They all are good, honest, loving people! As you can see the oldest, my son Kienneth, is thirty two, my daughter Nancy "the middle one" and the only girl, and my six foot five youngest son Kieth, and yes his name is spelled just as I meant it to be spelled. My son Kienneth and his beautiful wife Gena who he began to fall in love with when thy were in middle school! I feel like I helped raise that little girl too! She is just as much a part of my family as any of my kids! The two of them have also given me the most beautiful, wonderful, grand children! Callista Belle and my little man Zieven Quinton! They have brought me so much joy! Callista at this time, two thousand and ten, is thirteen, Zieven is turning six in two days, August the twentieth. They grow up so fast!

The grand children help me to see things I missed when I was so busy trying to make a living. I also see the mistakes I made along the way. Each one of my children came with it's own set of mistakes most of which I am still leaning as we go on living life. As I reach toward a better place and time day by day thing by thing I take it one step at a time. I keep telling my self you done the best that you could at the time and as I see my life run from past to present I see new ways to love my children by learning to love my self and to forgive my self for my mistakes!

My favorite thing I like to do with Zieven is to let him lead the way! With watchful eyes I watch him and make sure he is safe but I follow him as he chooses the path we walk, the book we read or the movie we watch. I tell him he is going to be a great leader when he grows up because he is already a great leader now! The joy in his eyes the look on his face, his eyes light up looking off into the distance as if to see him self, I suppose, marching down the street with his platoon marching them into battle. The six year old boy is already an expert Halo player! If you don't know what that is it's a X box game, if you don't know what an X box is ask a kid!

Callista, my Grand daughter, is thirteen and is into boys! She gets frustrated at Gan because Gran seems to know every thing that she does and she cant figure out how I do that. I keep telling her the same thing I use to tell her dad, "I keep telling you, I have a higher power," and I find out every thing! So far it all works but just wait! She will be fourteen soon and it will be a different story! I get nervous about the age fourteen, I knew, something was going to happen when Nancy turned fourteen, boy it did! No it wasn't boys It was hair dye! I didn't see her real hair color until a couple years ago. Her hair was every color of the rain bow, I'm not kidding it was all the colors of the rainbow at one time. But then you have to give them some control at that age, with all that hair she has she had plenty of room to do what she wanted. All and all we made it through with few battle wounds. I guess more could surface at any time, at least I'm aware of that! A lot of people don't have a clue when, where, why, what happens. Like I said in an earlier post I have spent a lot of time learning about healing a dysfunctional family! More to come on that topic later!

Good night for now, the hands are starting to go numb, well they have been numb for some time now but I was on a roll, I hate to stop when I get the bug to write. Until next time, love, peace, and joy to you all. Tell someone that you love them, don't put it off tell them today!